this is good and insightful! I've got this sharing from my ex-HKU friends..

先照顧自己

「You have to be selfish to be selfless．」（「想要無私先要自私」），那
位擔任人生導師（life coach）的朋友提出這個概念時，我感到有點愕然，但很快
明白了她的道理。

當晚討論的主題是「自設界限」，即是說每個人必須預留給自己相當的私人空間，
只有這樣，才可能身心靈健康，然後做事做得好（包括奉獻的工作），對人態度
好，生活過得快樂。

聽了三位專家，過來人分享（注），我知道自己正是犯了這種毛病的經典例子：人
家央求做事，往往來者不拒；，好像覺得說「不」是自私的，應該內疚的，其實我
既不自量力，又不懂計算後果。

後果是甚麼?原來你做「黃大仙」，任由人家使用你的時間精力，往往導致：

——人家過分倚賴你（你幫他幫得太多太周到）；

——各方人士團體將你當做廉價勞工（因為找你出力特別容易）；

——你事務太繁雜，而且長期匆忙緊張，反而主力做的事情無法集中火力做好；

——你筋疲力竭，待人態度轉劣，你的忙碌不耐煩辛勞模樣及面容「污染」四周環
境、立壞榜樣；

——你很可能終於大病一場；

——你靈性生活貧瘠，往往忙得團團轉而失去方向感，做事事倍功半，甚至誤人歧途。

以上情況是不是有些熱心人、神職人員、社會領袖的寫照呢尹那幾位專家教了我們
自衛絕招——



A friend of mine who is doing a very interesting counselling course told
me about this inspiring theory of "co-dependence". I "think" it means
something like 'some people enjoy helping others so that they can forget
about their own problems, pain and griefs. And if they are not needed
for help anymore, they don't know what to do with themselves.' Correct
me if I am wrong, Jean.



My friends, now take 2 minutes to reflect on the fact that whether you
do belong to the 'co-dependence' gang. If you do, congratulations!!!
You're a very very kind person but I urge you to seek professional help
such as counselling service.

i never do a strategy plan on myself ....to understand my strength weakness, as well as external threat and opportunities...and decide what i want to be in 3 years time?

so years and years gone..and everything still the same....what do you want to do?

isn't that ironic?

eugene, who are you? where do you want to go?